winks and handshakes

Ben Mich @ DD33

2010-09-20T20:20:00.001-06:00

Ben Mich @ DD33
Originally uploaded by winks and handshakes

iPhone flickit test

my new blog

2008-02-07T15:27:00.000-06:00

is coordinationdevices.blogspot.com

los feliz, los angles

2008-02-02T21:17:00.000-06:00

tattiya and i are moving to los feliz in a few weeks! we should be moved in by the end of the month, so don't send any mail to the house on 6th ave anymore. can't wait.

round and about

2008-01-30T11:41:00.000-06:00

we're back in l.a. and i feel extremely reinvigorated.

hamburger lychees.

and a map:
we went on many bike rides, but this one probably covered the most area. awesome awesome awesome.

berlin

2008-01-24T16:02:00.000-06:00

is for lovers

tattiya's pics

just got back to berlin from a few days in hamburg. it's been a bit rainy, but enjoyable nonetheless. fun times, fun times.

scrabble sunday in marina del rey

2008-01-15T10:20:00.000-06:00

erik is using our bikes for a display at niketown in beverly hills. we had to stop by to swap one of the bikes.

hugs.
paul looks much more at ease because it wasn't his turn.
bathroom break.

more pics at tattiya's flickr

time to pack!!

I Was Built For Sundays

2008-01-09T14:10:00.000-06:00

There's new music rippling about
and rejections popping up

a fresh cup of coffee
to help supply calm

excitements
through investigations
into the bold 1980s car
bold lines
that keep popping up
everywhere
heavy lines in all the nooks

and also into
the linkages woven here

and now I know
that walking into the kitchen
won't help and won't change
anything
though I did manage
to make it outside
to move my car across the street
which was a start

and just up the way
was a little school
with a play-set
with wood-chips
with eees nnns vvvs yyys
scribbled into their faces

and a yarn tele
tethered to the knobbles of a tree
it rang so I ran
and picked up the line
to hear pssst pssshhhshssh
and I was confused

I thought I'm dreaming?
but pierce sure enough in my ear
I'm not dreaming

they're all playing family
(I hope my sister's ok)
so I put my arms straight out
and said hey I can play.

© 2008, Jared Linzmeier

to berlin

2008-01-08T13:56:00.000-06:00

in one week with tattiya to visit alastair (jan. 15-29). send in your recommendations, experiences, etc. etc. etc. etc.

hugs,

for my birthday

2008-01-04T03:00:00.000-06:00

, which was almost a month ago already, we went bowling. tattiya posted some pics and who doesn't love pics?

^captions go up^
^amazing.

i think it's safe to say this one was a strike.

and there were screaming armenian-jewish-american-indian-nerds present

, but most of us were just having a good ol time.

after bowling we hit the gower gulch for karaoke. paul belted some jams.

nathan bought me a car bomb. thanks, nathan.. look how excited i am.

i had a grrrreat time.

If We Wanted To

2008-01-01T14:30:00.000-06:00

we could talk about the magic out there

and about the times of waking up

new year's nights and days
how maybe that sets the tone

and we could talk about walking

or how to pick a good calendar

or how I'd come to visit her
and vice-versa
and we would peddle and giggle
and trip (kisses on the cheek)
I don't know hows

and we could talk about the birds in the sky on a windy day.

© 2007, Jared Linzmeier

new reads

2007-12-30T16:29:00.000-06:00

all over coffee

[buy cheaper directly from city lights.]

and

feeble attempts

cell phone

2007-12-29T15:41:00.000-06:00

is out of order at the moment.

12.30.07: and now is back.

happy new year!

Two Stripes

2007-12-27T16:41:00.000-06:00

Two Stripes Were Minding Their Business…
and then a plaid accident.

our likelihoods crossed paths and
I tucked
tucked
tucked
and rolled
and when I arose tot tot
tot tot
frogs bit against the pink
tin bottoms of rabbits
and a chorus of harps laid loose
and laid claim
the frogs blossomed and their petals clapped
clap clap clap
and I snip
cut a ringlet from my dangling hangling
curls
to barter for a high five bam and I said ‘yeah’
with excitement and was so excited
snap snap
clip clip
yay yay
but all the baby whua whua blue in the high sky
got mad and all started whining whining whining sprink whine sprinkling and they seemed oh so sad oh so sad with an !
pop
and they clumped together, all the baby blues, and their mothers above them in the sky
shook their scarlet fingers in shame
while the frogs finished their tin snacks
and the sun began to shine.

© 2007, Jared Linzmeier

christmas eve

2007-12-27T13:04:00.000-06:00

was wine and cheese.

monica--->joshua--->pablo.

more photos on ryan's flickr.

first holiday season in l.a.

2007-12-26T13:38:00.000-06:00

is/was sh-amazing. i feel very fortunate. and new year's yet to come...

-jared

christopalypse

2007-12-16T20:17:00.000-06:00

decks shifting

2007-12-13T03:18:00.000-06:00

Decks Shifting

You understand what I mean when I say
wow that went fast
you know what I’m intending to be
when we hug

so these, and other things, make me a poet.

Where I come from it’s cold and hot and seasons rub fiercely
and sledding is a thing that’s essential
and I spent nights with snow stinging my face
holding my mom’s waist down the hill in our front yard
I shot arrows in the fall and slipped on ice in the spring
and have loved and still am loving

and now I live in L.A.
and I am still loving

There’ve been coffee
and cigarettes and asthma doesn’t appreciate that
but someone does.
I’ve alluded to problems with alcohol
and have had the privilege of
turmoil in the country
and words baffling me
and measley divorce.

Jumping thoughts and, simply, attempts at simplifying and capturing scenes.

I live in a world where honor is present.
There is honor
humor
in the ways of things.
and a piece of lint
in my beard

My fancy is windows down
and lines that strike
like ‘this is a hard, stolen land’

I have a threaded history of pine needles
and bee stings and roasted chipmunks
it’s the truth
and am capable of
not thinking
before acting
tickling
My shaking hands can’t stop
and my family…
stitching the two together
after wearing them apart.

and I’m sometimes a branded man
and othertimes squinting with so much day in my eyes.

© 2007, Jared Linzmeier

creative commons and copyright business

2007-12-12T16:03:00.000-06:00

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

maybe it's unfounded, but lately i've been thinking about how to protect my poems from redistribution, theft/borrowing, etc... anyone know more about the pros and cons of using a creative commons license for my work?

any other advice than applying a "© 2007, Jared Linzmeier" to my stuff?

good news for a friday

2007-12-07T13:44:00.000-06:00

margins mag out of philadelphia has decided to publish my poem "spoke cards" in their premier issue. i believe it's scheduled for release in the spring.

bad things come in...

2007-12-07T03:03:00.000-06:00

yesterday:
-got a $50 parking ticket for street cleaning right in front of my house.

tonight:
-forgot my cell phone at work.
-road 6 miles home in the rain and realized the above bad thing about 2/3 the way.

so that's 3, eh? doesn't stop me from being cold and wet and incapable of sleeping right now. hmm.. i just found my phone so things are already looking up!

-------------

oh well.. maybe this celebration of my bday [which is technically on the 10th]

will help things brighten up a bit. come out if you can! thanks for the flyer, tattiya.

also on a up and up note, i've been training pretty heavily at intelligentsia the past few weeks. i'm now pulling shots consistently and working on pouring hearts and rosettas and also have cupped coffees a few times [which i'll write more about soon] and overall learning tons about all realms of coffee. it's really been a quite insightful past month or so. me sniffing in on some wet aroma at the intelligentsia roasting works: check my coworker ryan's blog for more coffee-geek-relatedness, pictures and more, and also tony's blog and pics.

inside today

2007-12-04T15:50:00.001-06:00

This poppiness is pop pop and jump jump… but anyhow it was nice playing Scrabble last night and I’m thinking not thinking being happy and jittering around the house and then I grabbed my nutshell and spent some time inside it remembering today through the thrills of last year and taking steps back to appreciate and throwing little pebbles across arboretums across time zones and across images of hugs.

a draft for a poem about poetry

2007-12-04T14:50:00.000-06:00

It isn’t a race
it isn’t a struggle
for words out there
it isn’t saying it
before someone else
and it needn’t be rushed
or explosions
like sifting through the madness for the word, the line, the way no
no it can be keeping the music
from going away
and ensuring hums
and looks and insurance
to cover foreign nights
it needn’t be laziness
or relying on ambiguity
or hearts going out
and it needn’t be a song
and it isn’t wishing to be heard (is it?)
and it sure is easy to make it more than it is
and it isn’t pressing buttons (yes it is)
and it is a source for embellishment
and beauty but not envy
and an aid for finding smiles when stumbling along.

winter is a here

2007-12-02T21:57:00.000-06:00

damn, it's bad out. too icy, too wet, too cold...so i'm gonna cry about it. i've lived in the midwest for 24 years and i still can't get used to it. i did enjoy shoveling today, reminded me of home.

it's funny, i listen to my playlist and i just think of how all these songs remind me of summer. makes me miss it. i guess the reason why i'm so jaded is that i finally have a plan. unfortunately it won't come to full bloom until around may.

my time to leave is way overdue. madison, thank you but i need to leave. LA, i hope you're nice to me.

thanksgiving

2007-11-25T16:12:00.000-06:00

at the japanese tea garden in the golden gate park (an imitation of the knobby trees?).

oh bridges.

oh feets.

made a stop at ritual for some phenomenal coffee.

in other news, the mash dvd is officially for sale.. saw it at freewheel in s.f. hope everyone is had a nice brief break.

Hanging to Dry

2007-11-21T15:03:00.000-06:00

Baby's a year old now and I want to cry.

Too many necks stuck out against the sides of books and too much sunshine in a city without brakes..

'I'm so lonesome I could cry.'

Silhouettes in pictures, grainy with time, aged like patchwork quilts.

'There are places I'll remember all my life.'

The timing of those weekends built bricks into our hearts.

Somewhere out there is a dream and somewhere out there is a fear of bad dreams coming true, worry-me-bads coming awfully true.

Uncle Danny's slowly grinding coffee and Grandma's smelling it and making phone calls.

Believe me, Pablo, when I say that the assistant sometimes has it better off and, that said, I'm glad to help you along and to help find faith in 'A project is just that, son, and someday needs be done.'

Sundays are slow steps and eggs and a concentration on lifting from one to the next, slow steps, and longer minutes.

Baby's a year old now and I want the best.

An assistant to the pull of love can be the proximity of it or the ties of distance also.

No country for young children.

Just as much as No Country For Old Men.

Just suit them all up in boots and maybe they'll meet somewhere between Laredo and Los Angeles.

Together they can taste the sameness of weeks of bread eaten without much else on breaks not much easier than...

Carried on during the grey times, discovering aspects of what needs be done and bleeding codes of ethics.

l.a. brakeless

2007-11-14T00:43:00.000-06:00

congratulations to dave and thomas of lab (l.a. brakeless)!

they opened their doors on sunday and are located on motor between palms and national in culver city. this is a bike shop primarily dedicated to track and fixed-gear riding, but undoubtedly will be happy to help you with any of your cycling needs.

the waste i found in a cup

2007-11-09T17:09:00.000-06:00

Let me tell you about strands of legacies.

There’s a fairy tale in my field of vision blocking the fatigue of passing days and in IT there are some castles (depending on the day), but more often than not it’s somber wood buildings sort of resort-town-like with the aging shingles and that feeling in the air of getting away.

I think we could all use a bit of restoration.

I’m updating my head with charisma and visions of new me(s). Check back later.

At a café on Sunset, in the heart of Hollywood, a group discusses the “fires in the West” and “I’ve got a tickle in my throat.” Luckily they’ve found family in the most unlikely places…

Meanwhile, I’m sitting here conducting experiments and a study of putting together examples: see How The Other Half Lives? It was bad, very bad… And Blackwell’s could be an analogy.
I’m guilty of the grease on my hands and wishing for more and I’m guilty of letting in compliments about age [although it complements some other things, which I’d rather not let in again], but also calls to mind Yay yay for Christmas at Grandma’s house and the little tea sets and trees and ornaments forgotten about lost in time under her bed “She’s not the type to need them.”

Downstairs the tv’s playing old-timey shows and the realm of possibility can be said to be spinning.

They’re all together, finally, and the night is nice. Here friends are family.. but then the phone calls strike it down and spread the distance because the friends, some of them have feelers and are using them for comparative advantage analyses in unfortunate ways one friend is thinking how nice and another is thinking why hasn’t Adrian called back and another is somewhere else and another has at least excused herself outside for a call but oh well, advice given is attempts at getting it it’s working theories out and stripping the board-game collection down to Scrabble, Sorry, and Chess.

And I’m guilty of living a layered day and of missing a love and several others and I’m guilty of seriousness in honesty and in getting to the questions of the shaping of a poor child and I’m guilty of restraining myself sometimes in public because, unfortunately, the shingles aren’t spilling from the roofs today, but with a shirt like this I’m capable of hiding and in a place like this I’m more at ease because wood has a nice scent [that counts] and with all the blushes of the speeches being made I’ll chip in by being a witness and bring a package from my side and then we carry the streamers to celebrate the openings and we’re there for successes and for making the pictures worth hanging on walls in auntie’s deserted frames on ambitious days of catching up.

“Sesenta y uno” and louder “seseNTA y UNO.”

“O, that’s us.”

My “horse” trigger is comprised of a few components: mom, the memory of the weekend of seeing the Science of Sleep, not much to do with westerns.

Back on Sunset, “What time is it?” --- “We should get back then.” --- “Ok, we’ll get back soon. Ok, so that angle.. I want to get the window in the shot.” -- “And maybe we should catch the eyes, too.”

The Waste I found in a cup is a place
Of Land where we can read intent
And consider the illusion
Of structure [is a thought had and then, in stacks of shelves in poor lighting in metal that smells like metal and wood that smells old and rows of books that, collectively, smell like contained ghosts, a tired one begins to compose a thesis].

things i might do

2007-11-02T14:30:00.000-06:00

--did you know norman mailer was still alive? yeah, well i didn't. he is though. and no, i'm not entertaining the possibillity of doing norman mailer [as the title to this post might somewhat imply]. just a random thing i came upon via flavorpill's boldtype november edition.

--wednesday, october 31st: the deadly syndrome at spaceland.

--thursday, november 1st-11th: afi festival.

--friday, november 2nd [[nevermind... just remembered that i have to close at intelligentsia on friday night, but this looks cool nonetheless]]: november's ride-arc.

also friday: hoping to make it to the midnight showing of big lebowski at the theatre off fairfax at beverly.

--sunday, november 4th: an extra special bike polo gathering in celebration/mourning of/for daylight savings.

--monday, november 5th: this is as epic as it gets re: biking l.a. wolfpack's year anniversary=a century night ride. don't know if i can hang..

View Larger Map

...more to come

a poem for today [and, oh!]

2007-11-02T12:53:00.000-06:00

[not that i'm in an especially bad mood. cause i'm not. everything below taken from 42opus. and oh! if you like beirut, you might like to watch a video for each of the band's new songs off THE FLYING CUP CLUB.]

Bad Mood
by PAUL GUEST

Bad mood and bad dog and bad luck like
my broken neck or heart or head
playing out so much bad weather
like kinked yarn unraveled by a bad
black cat, which summons luck again,
that diffident lover half-
naked in the dark. To her
I walked beneath one thousand ladders
over miles of bad road
ribboned with bad directions.
Which wasn't as bad
as I thought it would be.
My bad ear pressed to the powdery wall
behind which strangers
badly performed their bad sex,
their bored flesh
nothing like the paleness of tulips
in the heat of Alabama
or the severed second
in which our voices sunk
from the bad phones we carried with us.
Across that bad connection,
the bad things compelling us
to speak out, to end up, to say
even now my skin flecks away.
Like paint applied
badly, quickly to cover
some previous horror,
some bad end solved badly,
the evidence lost,
thrown out, awarded to the jury of dust.
But I said it wasn't so bad.
And it wasn't.
There were days when knives of noon light
sliced the sky apart like tangerines.
And there were hours
and words amounting to consolation
and entire towns
ripe with welcome,
surrendering their thousand mirrors,
their seven long years.

Paul Guest is the author of The Resurrection of the Body and the Ruin of the World, winner of the 2002 New Issues Prize, and Notes for My Body Double, winner of the 2006 Prairie Schooner Book Prize. His chapbook, Exit Interview, is available from New Michigan Press.

good night

2007-10-27T04:27:00.000-06:00

it was a late one.

update on my run-in with the bus

2007-10-26T14:55:00.000-06:00

[regarding my post from 10/22/07 about a dangerous encounter i experienced]

--from l.a.'s metro customer relations:

"We certainly regret the incident below and will make a report against
the driver. Can you please tell us what direction you were traveling?
Did you by chance see the operator's badge number on their sleeve?

Again, our regret for this incident.

Metro Customer Relations"

--and my response:

"Thanks for your response. I was heading west and, unfortunately, was
unable to retrieve the operator's badge number."

--and their response:

"Thank you for your information. We apologize for the unprofessional
conduct of the operator. Per Metro procedures, operators encountering a
cyclist on the road or on an adjacent bike path should follows at a safe
distance. If it is necessary to pass a cyclist, the bus is to slow down
and pass with 3-4 -1/2 foot side clearance from them.
Rest assured your report will be investigated.

We entered your report into our database and forwarded a copy to
management for their review. They will identify the operator, interview
them and take corrective measures. Thank you for bringing this to our
attention.

Metro Customer Relations"

i'm pretty happy with the attention they've given my incident.

ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO!! i forgot to mention: intelligentsia silver lake is hosting its first art opening tonight 10.26 from 7-11pm featuring the photo montage art of georgia cobb turcasio [i think i got the names spelled right]. the pieces will be up for a few weeks.

goings ons

2007-10-24T13:40:00.000-06:00

been listening to the deadly syndrome a bit lately [http://myspace.com/thedeadlysyndrome]. they're an l.a. band [as much as most bands in l.a. are "l.a." bands [meaning half the band is from elsewhere]] that a devoted intelligentsia customer and [now] friend manages. thanks, joshua.

intelligentsia got rid of their urn for brewed coffee and now relies solely on two clovers for all of our brewed coffee needs [http://cloverequipment.com/home/Default.aspx]. every cup brewed freshly.

[photo www.flickr.com/photos/benchristen]

the vacant counter space is now occupied by a two-group synesso [http://www.synesso.com/], which marvellously complements our three-head at the front of the bar. this is ballin in coffee land. oh, and it's a little late to mention now [though maybe we'll get more?], but intelligentsia silver lake engorged it's succulent tastebuds with the worldwide-competition-winning hacienda la esmeralda de panama [read geoff watts's accout here: http://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/origin/offerings/10-25-2006]. it was delicious. retail: $55/ 4 oz. or $220 / pound. oh, we also just got the little 1-3 cup chemex [http://www.chemexcoffeemaker.com/] in... not sure what it'll retail at yet, but it's pretty cute:

and makes a damn clean cup of coffee. we also carry the 8 cup version.

tattiya's goga ride is still kicking ass [http://gogabikeride.blogspot.com/].

the air here is fucking horrible.

[courtesy of airnow.gov]

^that small purple spot is where i live. purple means "very unhealthy" and helps to explain why i've been using my inhaler more than usual the past few days.

the mash dvd is now available for to order. it's $40, but looks to be well worth it and will ship nov. 15. i forgot to mention.. the weekend of the l.a. premier tattiya and george and monica [george's gf] and i had just finished eating thai food on melrose and pulled into the street when suddenly we were swarmed on by all the mash dudes [massan, emi, etc...] just fucking flying down melrose. i wasn't planning on partaking in any of the events, but that made my [i'm going to say it] heart speed up quite a bit. we drove behind them down melrose and watched as they were refused entrance to paramount studios..

this past sunday polopolopoloXXbikebikebike was pretty awesome. this dude boo showed up from sf [happened to be in town] and played a few games with us, forcing us not only to step it up but also reminding us that bike polo is bigger than what we do here and that we need to motivate and make it to some tournaments, etc.

sorry for all the pasted links without pop-up-in-another-windowness.

grape drink baby

2007-10-23T17:40:00.004-06:00

hey ya'll, i work for a local independent bike shop and it is high time that we get a bit more exposure. so i made a myspace page in order to advocate living a bicycle infused lifestyle.

we specialize in recreating old reliable bikes into light strong commuters. we don't force the carbon fiber or the 'fixed gear' mentality, but we will give you all the advantages or disadvantages and provide as much info as you need to make the next decision for your two-wheeled steed.

well, before i type your eyes out, come check out our photos (bikes we've built) and blog to get a feel for who we are and if we are the shop for you.

be our friend or if you know someone that is new to all this, refer us.

this is not about making money, this is not about show, this is about sharing something that has made our lives better.

cool,
earl

myspace.com/revcyclesmadison

good ol l.a. public transit...

2007-10-22T17:36:00.000-06:00

an email to the los angeles metro system:

I'm filing an official complaint against the driver of bus 5076 at
approximately 4:35 PM on October 22nd.

The following is a synopsis of the events which I am publishing on my
blog and making extremely clear to everyone I can possibly spread the
information to:

"ten minutes ago i was riding my bike within half a mile of home when
bus 5076 of the los angeles metro public transit pinched me into the
curb after honking at me. i was riding as far right as i could on
washington boulevard, which at that block consists of three lanes
going each direction. the other two lanes were entirely free, yet the
busdriver honked at me (an unnecesary and startling action) and then
literally inched around me and pulled his front end to the curb
without loading or unloading any passengers. i rode around the bus to
the left and pulled up to his window (which was open) and grabbed the
side of the bus while remaining seated on my bike and attempting to
speak to the busdriver.

"didn't you see me??!" i said.

i was ignored, so i tried again, "excuse me?! you obviously saw me
because you honked. i was in my lane of traffic. what you just did was
illegal!"

finally he turned to me and said, "what are you doing in that lane?
you don't belong there."

the light changed and i rode in front of the bus in the rightmost lane
while he tailed immediately behind me and then sped up to pass me,
only to pinch me to the curb once again at the corner of washington
and 6th avenue. this block was my street to turn left on so i went
around him once again and yelled that i'd be reporting him and he
yelled "you're lucky you're not dead.""

Your busdriver could and should be cited for reckless behavior and
attempted assault with a deadly weapon. This behavior is
unnacceptable.

Sincerely,

---------

ugh.... thanks, bus number 5076 driver between arlington and 6th ave on washington boulevard at 4:33 pm on october, 22nd. thanks for increasing my already cynical view of angeleno drivers.

a friend of mine

2007-10-22T16:18:00.001-06:00

is labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org labikepolo.org

"Deadline" by Dean Young

2007-10-19T14:06:00.000-06:00

i've been re-reading this poem quite a bit the last several days. it is from dean young's newest book, EMBRYOYO. enjoy.

Swimming pool full of brown leaves.
The jury files back into the courtroom.
The burning fuse wriggles like a mouse's tail.
Cymbals. Tadpoles. The bearded gods
who battled dragons with big hammers.
Arriving at the cafe, men with hatchets
in brown shirts. It is the time of fascism
then strangers kissing in the streets
and the time of fascism is over. For now.
The calm of the sea then an armada.
Certainly the meteor is on a deadline,
soon to begin a more sedentary life.
Oh those wild years on a deadline,
the morning full of headache looking
in a mirror that looks into a mirror
where infinitely repeated is an apple tree
on a deadline, its fruit must be finished
by first frost, its buds not open before
the last. Halmet on a deadline but
not sure which or where. Athens
on a Sparta deadline, swimming suit
an overcoat. Hurry calls one son
to the other across the country.
Running through the airport, running
even on motorized walkways,
it's best not to carry much.
A great doubt then a great hope
then a certainty. Cymbals.
The longest day of the year,
sunset peacock flash. Ash.
In its DNA, each cell is on a curfew,
lights out, on tables the chairs
turned upside down. I missed my chance
with her thinks the boy hoping not
but being right. Never again
to be alone with her on the porch
cricket cricket cricket
while her boyfriend misbehaves
and a vengeful need ripens in her
as does a third watermelon daiquiri.
The ice melts in the glass, clinking.
The puppy is gone and in its place a dog
then the dog is gone. Friendship
on a deadline, suntans, milk.
The daughter helps her mother up the stairs.
You thought you'd never heal
but you almost did.
The little cart creaks down the street
pulled by a man talking to himself.

More Dim (and not)

2007-10-16T11:06:00.000-06:00

A piece of hope in my head from those weekends away, along with pieces of wine and a part of a piece of a passing day and a man in a Jaguar doesn’t look any happier than me and that’s not big or small. Another trip to the airport is a piece brought here and a piece to the past and a distortion of time and pieces of space and pieces of time overlapping a lean-to I helped build in my youth against writers that are against tattoos.

An inopportune moment, but I feel like writing and sometimes those moments are best.

Spent today eeking out an existence inside a small piece of me, stealing away a valuable day.

We communicate through our accomplishments. A subtle shift is a season. A long weekend splicing my desires splitting my excitement into what am I doing with myselves but hold strong hold steady hold on anyway. The weather is even fitting for that. Fresh ink on my skin it’s almost clicking. Almost familiar. Stop gazing off it won’t just happen it’s only almost familiar don’t push it a change in light and it’s all skimmed off the top. Don’t push it. Today’s a lingering day it’s a let things happen and when you breath smell just a little bit more through the nostrils and pretend to pick up hints of apple blossoms (even if you’ve never smelled them).

Where were you when
When the neighborhood opened up?
When the shingles spilled from the roofs?
When the real people all emerged from their routines and the hermits rushed from the hills to rejoice (wisdom passed down)?
Where were you for all this and more (still standing in line?) and where were you when I was reminiscing about days spent lingering and I was left to linger all alone?

last night

2007-10-13T19:58:00.000-06:00

i really had a ball [or something like that. remember that kid 'n play song?] anyhow.. saw beirut at the avalon and the shit was awesome. people were sort of dancing and the energy was real good. inspiring, creative young musicians, even for someone who doesn't aspire to play. i thought of this poem i wrote a few months ago:

Better Than Dancing
An afternoon can be an argument for a city.

A night at work can be another late night.

A dance with friends can be magic and a dance with strangers can be confiding and can be the widest of smiles and sharing sweat and can also be forgetting.

Taking a step back can be knowing how it feels to be missed and can also be lonely and can be taking a step in the wrong direction and also taking a step back can be taking a step back.

Spending $200 can be accidents and can be hellish and can also be good causes can be coffee food sharing and can be a weekend away.

Reading can be realizing what you don't know and can also be boring and being bored can be the result of hearing your mind tell itself the same things just to hear them another time to make them more real and that can be dangerous because enough of that makes a fact, or can, and can prime you to think one-directionally.

Writing can be connecting and scouring and being apart and some of us grew up hearing we could be anything and some hear that we still can.

an armadillo experiment

2007-10-08T12:55:00.000-06:00

[a more literal post than i usually present]

i recently had to buy some new tires and, with a strong recommendation from the men at orange20, i went with the specialized armadillo city tire [my rear is the folding version and my front is the non-folding [not purposefully]]. i've had best success with the bontrager race lite hard case, but heard good things about the armadillo and wanted to support a smaller, track-oriented shop. four days into riding the front tire [non-folding], i'm riding down w. sunset blvd. and my tire completely splits. tire is flat within twenty seconds and i find a gash through the tire in the tube about two centimeters across [bigger than i've encountered with the exception of a tube blowing up]. now i'm left with a $40 barely-used tire that's shit to me. luckily tattiya and i had gone on a ride [oh yeah, check out http://ridearc.org/] and she'd driven to meet me in silver lake, so we were near her car and drove home. fast forward three days. being a tight-ass and refusing to succumb to a small gash, i decide to try to fix this thing.

step a: buy adhesive.

step b: apply adhesive to inside of gash, both on the inner and outer parts of the tire.

step c: place a folded dollar bill across the inside tire over the gash, also using adhesive to secure the bill.

step d: wait.

i have a feeling this isn't going to work. so for now my opinion is that specialized's claim that the armadillo is "puncture-proof" is very false.

in other news,
remember the summer?

[location@@myspace.com/berdhousegallery]

an october glory

2007-10-08T01:01:00.000-06:00

this weekend tattiya and i went to solvang
(i.e. the movie sideways), where we consumed delicious cheeses
and tasted many wines and got crunx in the beautiful afternoon backdrop of the dutchish small towns and the rows upon rows of grapes (not simultaneously).

highlights:

-watching resident evil: extinction, which i snuck a bottle of wine into (and we were also fortunate enough to see the chubby kid behind the front desk making out--with his ass on the counter, mind you--with his girl on our way out of the movie). oh, the movie was fun too.

-visiting foley's winery.

-receiving foley's winery's free wine glasses.

-taking foley's winery's employee's atv ride, courteously offered by a denim-clad wine protector to your young couple when we stumbled upon a patch of grapes (meaning to picnic near them, of course) which had recently been sprayed with chemicals. the caring employee gave us a gorgeous ride through the fields on the back of his four-wheeler. awesome city.

-listening to so much creedence clearwater revival. i'm still of the firm belief that it's the supreme california soundtrack-to-our-lives music. i banged on the roof.

-driving around the countryside (while banging on the roof).

-battling in scrabble-off october2k7:

round one. i win:

round two. i lose:

glorious end result:
.

-watching sideways went we got home in order to re-live our experience and look at the places we had been to replicated by the motion picture.

sending another friend off...

2007-09-30T21:12:00.000-06:00

like i have mentioned in a previous post, "been busy y'all".
transitions, changes, readjustments, future.

shit is getting real for everyone it seems,
even outside of the world of winks and handshakes.
i.ve recently been blessed with having more work after the longest drought.
many hobbies-turned-potentials rising above the surface...prospering.
demanding my time, energy, sacrifice....spreading myself thin....and stressing myself thin [literally].
all the while not having a chance to focus on the reason why i fell in love with the things that i do...because it.s moving at a blurring pace.
out of guilt i reach into the bag of obligation and hope to pick out inspiration and motivation.

like earl mentioned below, people i love are gone. but i am PROUD.
recently i helped my friend Ben move to Seattle to jump-start his clean slate.
we drove from Madison to Seattle in a day and a half.
along the way i brought one of my beloved cameras and was afforded the chance to rediscover the reason why i love the sound of the shutter.

i hope you will enjoy my exploration of textures, colors, and space:

all of you

2007-09-30T14:32:00.000-06:00

in not letting the hard times destroy your life, you must always look at what you have. this summer has been the most difficult time in my life; some of the deepest of all friends left, moving into and renovating my new home, working my ass off to make ends meet, getting slaughtered by a truck, lost friendships/hard forgivenesses, and actually falling in love. the weak would make rash decisions and falter. the stronger ones mend and build. i am tired of having to constantly reassemble myself.

end all be all, i am still here. there are airplanes and phones to reach those that crave friendships. i still have my two legs to carry me where i need to go. i have a mind and hands that create and a heart that will always love. this is for all of you that understand me and take actions to be there and you know that with all that i have, i'll do the same. thank you for being you.

i'm going to spend the rest of my weekend redoing my portfolio and resume. all the while knowing how lucky i really am.

Been Busy Y'all.

2007-09-20T18:09:00.000-06:00

So recently many things have come up in my life which has made it hectic and exciting. I.ll deliver the goods on here in a bit....but until then watch Thomas Edison do his thing.

winks and handshakes as coordination devices...

2007-09-20T02:55:00.000-06:00

search "winks handshakes" in google and what comes up?

"smiles, winks, and handshakes as coordination devices," [sociological/psychologicalesque article headings] amongst other things... unintentional, i must say, but fitting.

share your associative wonders with us and describe your reaction or response to the words, "winks and handshakes."

love,

An Ambiguous Embrace

2007-09-14T15:48:00.000-06:00

EDIT: TITLE... feeling pretty spacey today. someone tell me i'm not crazy.

An Ambiguous Embrace (a draft, as most others posted are... Phill- I wrote the first part awhile ago).

Spent today keeping in touch because,
like so many other things,
that’s an exercise in understanding difference
and self
and crucial just like “What does it mean to be fastinated with chandeliers?”
or “How do I travel?”
is “How do I treat the past?”
so it’s an exercise.

We spent the night throwing
peanut M&Ms and tearing apart our admirations.

Another night today
and it’s kind of nice (this sounds like something else
I wrote, but I guess I have to get more used to that)
to not be expected too much to just quietly ride and go
to a movie
and to imagine the stories
in the heads
of some of the Angelenos sitting
sipping coffee and their heads jittering around
They can’t sit still, these writers.
Let me tell you. Their eyes! They wander… Poor enterprisers.

This, and a few rushed days…

Where did I leave off? And how do we judge a bit of progress…

To do: write a list of things to do.
and then go to the bank and take a nap and then rid the world of awkwardness and stop looking for new music (constancy!) and be comfortable with what you have and think about walking on the beach
and think about the world of professional writers
and stop looking around and stop feeling disconnected and start writing about sex like everyone else to show you don’t shy and start packing a lunch and sew those jeans at the cuff and stop (?) asking what it means.

A day in shifts: morning and evening darknesses (I should only be awake for one of those).

And now it’s school-time again, think of:
fall/”how was your summer?”s/Labor Day county fairs/responses indicating character shifts/a matter of time and
an indication that it’s time for some things to end in order for others to begin.

http://www.labikepolo.org/

2007-09-14T15:05:00.000-06:00

http://www.labikepolo.org/ is up and still coming. also, myspace.com/bikepolola.

today (actually, yesterday now) i

2007-09-13T21:20:00.000-06:00

consumed a french press of coffee, a machiatto, and an espresso (along with some non-coffee items).

spent some time at choke (http://www.chokemotorcycleshop.com/), where i had the machiatto (^) and took in the scenery. cool spot.

took my trusty 101z wax lee jeans to have the zipper replaced. boo.

bought some cheap shoes from the surplus store on w. sunset at hyperion.

read some umberto eco.

watched collateral.
///////\\\\\\\\
now that i'm writing this a day later it doesn't seem as interesting as it was yesterday when i thought to post about my day. i think the initial idea was to mention choke and to think about how i spend a day off from work..

intelli.la and the building and silver lake

2007-09-11T10:27:00.000-06:00

[[borrowed from tonx.org]]
some pics of where i work not taken by me.

i also discovered a very random connection today. many months ago my [then] roommate ben, a floor manager [then] for urban outfitters in madison, wi, brought home a lovely book [

]

which i spent some lengthy time perusing and marvelling over. at this time in my life i'd been kind of daydreaming about the possibilities of the year-to-come and l.a. had fallen amongst the other prospects. my friends at drunken butterfly, west coast natives, advised me that if i were going to move to l.a. that silver lake was the place for me.. so then this book came about and i was pretty awed, but felt pretty distant at the same time [sort of like how i feel when i read the magazine DWELL.. you know, amazing houses, but no conception whatsoever of actually living in one of them]. so then upon beginning to work at intelligentsia in silver lake, i was asked several times by customers about who designed the space and was informed by the baristas and other workers that the architect's name is, "barbara bestor," so that's what i started telling customers.

then just now i was reading owner doug zell's blog and found bestor's website and saw that she wrote the book i had become interested in so many months ago. oh connections..

fame

2007-09-11T09:57:00.000-06:00

saw these guys [from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS on hbo] yesterday at intelligentsia:

the one on the left also just did a movie called EAGLE VS. SHARK [http://www.eaglevsshark.net/]. can someone give me their real names?

this one's pretty funny too:

anyhow.. it's funny because i've been thinking a bit about how some people i see from day to day spend their time and/or make a living and how it can feel to know that ''''famous'''' people live and work around me.

Labor Day Bike Polo Tourney in Los Angeles

2007-09-07T10:44:00.000-06:00

[me trying to dribble in the air]

The rest of Sean's pics

and Steve?s pics.

EDIT 9/11: and another photo set from the bikerowave tourney.

Matt's team took first and lots of people came out. At the end they played AMERICAN FLYERS but I was zonked out so I went home (plus Tattiya was rafting in Bakersfield and some kids broke into their car and jacked a bunch of their shit so I was freaking out about that).

Los Angeles bike polo is gaining momentum.

business casual and white walls

2007-09-05T17:20:00.000-06:00

i started teaching again yesterday. it's pretty unnerving when you become responsible for what people need to learn. worse enough when impressions count and one must make themself trustworthy of their position. however, it's pretty damn cool being able to shape people's lives.

i did these renderings two years ago and miss the process, and most importantly, the product of design. the things that we allow to encompass our lives affect greatly those around us and mostly give validation to our actions in the future. i'm going to start looking for a design job for the mere sake that i want to create bigger things and as cliche as it may be, at least make a better life for others.

got lots of fine tuning and work to do, so if i don't see anyone, it's because i'm balls deep into my portfolio. plus i need to fulfill my insatiable need for beer, coffee, and cigarettes.

August

2007-09-04T22:27:00.000-06:00

Faces and spaces
what does it mean to be settled
anyway?
and a buck’s exploding on my arm
in my head
anyway.
I still don’t believe in fate
(besides, ashtrays don’t do much good with this wind)
anyway.

Forty hours a week yeah sure why not
take that to go yeah sure why not
ride across L.A. yeah sure
meet up when you’re in town why not
keeping it concealed yeah
stay here for a bit sure
wishing things were different why
hold my hand yes please do
not.

Some people speak with their hands
and some sit and watch.

Where do we what do we get here how did
that happen?

And “so this is just something temporary?” (you have no idea)
so then where’s rent coming from (no idea) what
do you think when you hear _________
and what makes a day
a bad one?
(what day of the week is it?)
everything has to wait, right? (right)
All my things
are missing but three days ago
I was in a movie.

And then, the writer reading.
“Why don’t we each read a few pages and then
reconvene?”
“Sounds good.”

How are you really? You seem to repeat yourself more
now. Really I’m fine
really, thanks. Yeah, sorry though that was just a lull you caught me in last night.

I was about to write down that it’s funny how I don’t feel the need to have my phone near me when you are (then a slew across my face of days marked forever).

Why is it important that I spent Sunday near the ocean and how do I keep this going now that I’ve come clean?

Didn’t sleep much last night and I’m seeing spots
ocassionally my right
finger is numb (is that symbollic?)
I guess I’ll just keep picking
up because I’m forever
leaving off stepped
into the cheese store today (and later saw two old men playing chess)
and I wanted to taste everything.

Here everyone can pretend to be beautiful. Cue it up.
An evening can be telling
the truth
and that can bend the imagination
in ways it wasn’t ready or willing
and that can lead to wakeful nights
watching eclipses against yard lamps
through eyes looking for something bigger
to believe in—searching for relativity—and then
nextdays that are really full of shit
and Tuesdays that don’t deserve a name.

I put my book down because there’s too much to
say today to have time
or energy for that… An outdoor scene and a bus murmurs to downtown and Mexican horns light the heat another three degrees in the right direction. Look at the kids.

I like to be alone (always on my mind) but I’m tired now and too busy talking to myself to write poems
too busy asking rhetorical
questions
to write
poems
a harmonica unused at home bridled by
the real hours of the day and new! Coming soon! Future
attractions include:
“Jared goes home and rekindles a relationship with his family”
followed by
“A poet who drinks”
and
“A visit to the wilderness, a simple camping trip with a love” in which our hero comes to terms with his sentimental stacks and buys a new pair of sunglasses
and
“He finally gets settled, starts publishing consistently” and makes enough money to travel: a cool one that explores movements and also with hints about what it can mean to be
smoothing out, with hints of a child named August in the previews for upcoming features.

9.1.07

2007-09-01T02:23:00.000-06:00

[wrote this this morning but wasn't able to post it til now..]

let the lapd be. yeah.. last night tattiya and i were a block from home on our bikes
when we passed a cop car at a light who was turning without a signal
and for some reason i felt it necessary to say, "blinker," after which
the car turned around and pulled us over in front of our house. they
were serious. very serious. but i got off scott-free and was left
with a reminder that i shouldn't say shit to a cop about traffic
regulations when i don't have a front light or brakes...

anyhow, that was about six hours ago and now i'm about to go to work
and i'm listening to george strait. "amarillo by morning," anyone?
intelligentsia has been going really well. best coffee i've ever had.

happy almost september.

[and now..]

ran into vuki while tattiya and i were eating at bay city deli in santa monica tonight. so damn random! ugh.. ok, tired now. i've been writing and i'll try to post this weekend.

bike polo and work and life

2007-08-21T15:31:00.000-06:00

we had our first polo match on sunday the 19th at pan pacific park... a good amount of people came out and i'm excited to see where this will go!

see the rest of tattiya's pics.

i also just quit my first job at lark cake shop and am hoping to snag a spot at the new http://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/ (based in chicago) that just opened in silver lake.

[[[update 8.26:: got the job full-time at intelligentsia. it's a pretty cool company. for real.]]]

things are good..

it was great to see ben and jan this weekend.

842 E. Dayton St.

2007-08-18T01:50:00.000-06:00

without this, i am screwed for my entire day...

--------------------------------------------------

this has been keeping earl and myself busy
[our new place under construction]

the kitchen

looking into the dining room from the kitchen

looking into the living room from the dining room

earl [the ceiling aint that low

looking into the loo from the dining room

my bedroom

earl.s bedroom

updates soon.

It.s been a long time....

2007-08-15T10:35:00.000-06:00

it.s hard to tell where exactly that i left off. i know i can look back to my most recent posts....but that don.t mean shit.

in the last month....

shot a whole bunch for context clothing:

this shoot was for GQ magazine.s top 100 stores. in newsstands soon!

karen walker sunglasses

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

stopped by the Mess Hall Press to peep some stuffs from our creative youth
in Madison. these kids get together weekly at the Madison Teen Center and
screen print stuffs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

then said goodbyes to....

jared ---> LA

neil ---> Philly/NY

jessica ---> Chgo

evan ---> Boston

vukadin backonja ---> LA

good luck guys.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

moving out...

---------------------------------------------------------------------

the car that.s linked to the story of humiliation

WI----->CA

2007-08-09T14:40:00.000-06:00

i made it (or rather, i'm in l.a.)! it's been an awfully intense couple of weeks... some of it is explained in the poem "shifting decks" below, which turned out to be the final poem of the collection "blankets, bolts, and blue jeans" that i submitted to a small press in ohio for their "first book of poetry" or something contest. i sent it out last thursday so that's a huge relief/leap into uncertainty. maybe i'll actually get published and maybe that would legitimize this poetry business in my head a bit more.. who knows. left stevens point on friday morning to head to minneapolis, where i was graciously hosted by none other than mr. neal jerome olson (thanks again) and met up with ben and michelle.. good times. oh, g&t. oh, byog&t. spent saturday at neal's cabin.. two words: ladder golf. fuckin' a. left sunday, made it to s. dakota and was surrounded by bikers (sturgis, anyone?).. camped in s. dakota, left early monday and made it to the southwest corner of wyoming. beautiful drive that day. saw bighorn national park, a town called thermopolis (no shit) and some crazy canyons, rivers, lakes, wide open landscapes.. stopped for the night, camped, and drove another 13 hours through salt lake, vegas, and finally, the city of angels. been hanging here, talking with the new roomies, trying to find a job. i have an interview tomorrow at a coffee shop in beverly hills.. we'll see what happens. l.a.'s got a pretty poppin bike scene as well (http://www.midnightridazz.com/), so i'm excited about that and also excited to get settled a bit. yay!

an advert for http://contextclothing.com/??

my dad and i.

country riding.

four generations.

nephew baraka.

uncle danny riding my track bike..

mr. daryl olson and the fine, fine art of ladder golf. he has technique. finesse.

campfire c/o http://www.flyoverstate.com/.

bighorn national park. i'm a fucking goon.

wyoming. scary.

Shifting Decks

2007-08-07T22:34:00.000-06:00

**line breaks are screwed up in this format... i just got to l.a. a few hours ago though and am extremely tired after two long days of 12+ hours of driving.**

Shifting Decks

Leaving is many parts
meeting new people and the feeling
of time lost and “Don’t hug me for more than ten seconds” because I’ll cry
(and in front of all these people at that)
and then also feeling “thanks for making me cry” thanks so
much for that for allowing me to spill myself onto your shoulder

food on the grill during the evening affair and then hummingbirds
at my Mom’s house
but wait, that’s skipping parts
steps, but that’s leaving
how places can be very similar and how one of my first poems was
“When the Hummingbird’s Hum Ceases to Hum” about death
in a sort of Keatsian manner, how funny that is

deck conversations, realizing what months
can be
and airing jeans on the line and snapping photos of them to get
a laugh
and cats that seem immortal

talking about new friends to old friends
and discovering role models

poems coming together on the road, one of them was
title “I Was Almost Crying Forty Miles Ago and Pulled Off the Road to Write This Especially for Earl and Phill”
body “I
love
you.”
but we all know that’s not a poem
and finding connections before departures realizing missed
opportunities
it’s casting lines out and breathing
camping overnight

feeling joy for buying baby food
for my little nephew
it’s “I’ll see you again”s that are both sincere and not

and a stick-shift in my hand
and great smells
seen but hidden by goodbye cigarettes
a walk in the woods I grew up in
showing my dad a poem

and it’s going to keep happening and it’s coming true and yes, it could be.

And if nothing else, it’s lots of hugs and taking chances,

and kissing vulnerability on the cheek,
backing away with a little wink.

well hello there

2007-08-03T20:32:00.000-06:00

so, this is my introduction to blogging. i've never really felt the need to showcase my every move since i've never really found my routine life to be anything spectacular.

i guess, with this first entry, i'm ready to showcase the things that really drive me. these moments are typically never shared with anyone and most never realize what truly keeps me alive. i have stacks of sketchbooks and rolls of drawings that no one has ever seen. with them, carry unknown secrets and thoughts that i've kept for years.

this is a poster i did for a show that my friend mel set up. hardcore shows meant the life to me a couple years back. it was the first time where i could identify myself as a part of a culture that differed from race and class. anger, politics, ideologies, religion, hope...nestled in lyrics, in gang vocals into a mic, on a tattoo, on a tshirt, in a pamphlet. it was a way to express yourself through a particular style of music.

like hip hop, hardcore had a similar upbringing. there are specific dances that differ regionally and an apparent respect for its founders. there were traditions, covers of classics, art and design but all stemming from the music. this poster is an homage to the early times of hardcore and punk rock where kids would actually draw out their posters instead of using microsoft word. where kids actually promoted a show instead of just creating a bulletin on myspace.

i spent hours on this poster and asked nothing for it. at that point i hadn't gone to a show in almost 2 years, the sheer excitement of going to a basement show was enough to restore a sense of life in me that i hadn't felt since i was last in a pit. it was the most elated i had been in the last year.

now ask yourself, what gets you so excited, that it'll make you dance like a damn fool?

the bbq today

2007-07-28T11:51:00.000-06:00


	is being pushed back to after 6ish because i miscalculated my time to do stuff. bringing food is a big thumbs up. so is bringing beer (though not as big cause beer is easier to come by). don't bring anyone i don't know. this is not a dance party. perhaps we'll venture down to the caribou later?? i'm excited to see everyone. love, jared

Communication and Sketching Ideas

2007-07-26T13:03:00.000-06:00

Phill and I decided early on that this space would be where we could explore things that we're working on and stay motivated with our projects. For Phill--correct me if I'm wrong--this consists of bringing people together in this sort of online community and also in bringing shots from his life and his eyes to all the rest of us. My wording sounds a little bloated with significance, but you get the idea. For me this is a place where I can throw out poems I'm working on to both keep myself writing consistently and also to see and hear what others might think about them. Thanks to those of you who have discussed anything you've seen on the blog with me. That's cool. Now, I encourage you to comment and also to let me know which of the poems or ideas you think don't work or think need some re-working. Hearing that things look nice is a nice thing, but isn't necessarily always the most productive. It's funny... so many people have said they read or saw something on winksandhandshakes and had an interesting thought of some sort about it. Great! We want to hear that shit.

Right... and I'm also moving to Los Angeles so then you want have the opportunity of telling me in person that you thought Jessica's comment on "Writing John a Letter" was super duper wack. Thanks for that though.

Ok. Love you all. Oh, and BBQ on Saturday at mine and Earl and Ben's place at around 5PM. I'm bouncing on Sunday.

And Phill- In case I forget to mention it, can you change the settings so that when a viewer clicks on a link it will open in a new tab or window? And can you add madbikepolo.org to the things we like? Oh, and the pics look great.

moving season is here

2007-07-24T21:16:00.000-06:00

it seems that this time of the year, everyone is busy with their own shit.

packing.

moving [some even far far away].

drinking.

working.

i sometimes wonder what other people.s lives are like
during the day...or even throughout the week around
this time. i know that around this time we all have to
get our shit together and we all have our own ways of
dealing with it all. these days, i.ve been a bit unmotivated
and it must be because after i get my tasks/work/etc

done, i.d rather just sit around and do NOTHING.

but this is what happens when i get home and do NOTHING.

the "living" room

but sometimes while basting in my own mess, i [almost] finish
other things like pics from the road trip.

click here

i have a few hundred up right now and i should have more
up soon. sorry for the delay to all who have been waiting.

Trigger Trigger

2007-07-24T18:26:00.000-06:00

Trigger Trigger

So let’s get beyond all that
like City started to say how words
can be loaded and gimmes well
then
kaleidoscope
and what
happens.

Let’s throw it out
let’s rejoice
and throw it out
and take away the tags
lines keywords beyond
parks benches lighters
lighting cigarettes the
descriptions of those sounds
walls of clearances and hums
and take a trip to the Middle Ages.

Throw out the howls
waitings cause I’ll be
damned if I’m waiting
I am taking I am coming
and I’m having fun.

So let’s throw out the muddle
and remind ourselves
what really
hips our elbows
what really shakes rattles and rolls.

I realized I never posted this...

2007-07-20T15:40:00.000-06:00

"winks and handshakes" came from...

"...but this is a vehicle to overcome like utensils and mugs and burning leaves and part of my equipment and mask and not enough time never enough, and too many doubts and too much talking and of course not enough material and I need to have more experience and I need to see things but at my own pace and for the right reasons and a general balance and I could generally say more but, genuinely, I will not, and winks and handshakes."

phill said he was thinking about starting a blog and asked me for name advice and i said a few other things before thinking of the last line above, which i'd written a few days earlier.

-jared

Found Treasure

2007-07-16T23:54:00.000-06:00

this past december and january, i spent about a month in LA. for New Years Eve, my cousin Sunny and i went to SF. i brought my Hasselblad and shot some rolls and sometime between then and now i misplaced my rolls of shot film. recently while cleaning my place, i found some random rolls and i got them developed. one of the found rolls happened to be from this trip. here is a taste. in the mean time, i.m still looking for other rolls that i shot while in SF. BTW: the road trip pics will be up soon enough!!!

for those interested, shot with:
Hasselblad 500C/M
Carl Zeiss 50mm f4 T*
Fuji Astia 100F positive film
Scanned on a shitty Epson 4990 without a plate

Better Than Dancing

2007-07-16T14:02:00.001-06:00

An afternoon can be an argument for a city.

A night at work can be another late night.

A dance with friends can be magic and a dance with strangers can be confiding and can be the widest of smiles and sharing sweat and can also be forgetting.

Taking a step back can be knowing how it feels to be missed and can also be lonely and can be taking a step in the wrong direction and also taking a step back can be taking a step back.

Spending $200 can be accidents and can be hellish and can also be good causes can be coffee food sharing and can be a weekend away.

Reading can be realizing what you don't know and can also be boring and being bored can be the result of hearing your mind tell itself the same things just to hear them another time to make them more real and that can be dangerous because enough of that makes a fact, or can, and can prime you to think one-directionally.

Writing can be connecting and scouring and being apart and some of us grew up hearing we could be anything and some hear that we still can.

Spoke Cards

2007-07-14T15:25:00.000-06:00

I thought of this one today... wrote it a few months ago.

“Spoke Cards”

I can't remember the score,
but I was at a baseball game

in Milwaukee the day my grandpa died.
He was born and died, appropriately,

in August.

Two days after he’d passed,
I was walking amongst our horses
and heard the news. We lived in the country.

Now, I would say the landscape
was a scornful, imposing symbol
of happiness and thriving life
mocking my loss.

Then, I just knew that it felt too green
and too happy outside
and that I considered riding
one of our horses off, away.

Instead, dumbfounded, I walked to our garage, a hive of busied intentions and naïve confusion, and kicked some rusty bikes into the gravel floor.

If I were a cartoon, probably lots of dust and grainy pixels and a "poof" caption would complement my dirty fingernails.

Mailing John a Letter

2007-07-05T17:42:00.000-06:00

Tell him he was always on my mind.

Because he always loved Willie Nelson. And so do I.

So on the highway more light and more windows down and I'm remembering a dream where my hair was long and I want to mail John a letter saying "You were always on my mind" and more because even though we never took that road trip after Portland fell through even though we didn't find Wisconsin in the fall it's always there for me I go there sometimes when I miss you and imagine us in the car your red car and windows down and the fall smells to blend this memory so clear with what I wish would have happened into what we actually remember because it's so there so there right so and cold November movements and trucks with dead deer because it's the season and I'm telling you about Wisconsin fall sentiments and sentiments on a fall tattoo how funny how brown shades how earthy and how funny that might be and we're laughing of course and stop into a cheese store because that's really how Wisconsin is you know lots of cheese so we make a stop and it's so fresh and then cigarettes in the best of ways because that's a nice thing to share then dusk sunsets the leaves the colors the reds oranges and it's so much then a cheap hotel trashy in the best of ways because it's just the two of us and it's just what we'd imagined just what we fell in love with and in order to keep that going we drink High Life the champagne with the girl with the red dress and something about a moon and cheers to nights spent Thursdays before hot summer Fridays cheers to those cheers to Josh cheers we need some music and I'm still working this part out how it would be but if you don't have your guitar to play a Merle Haggard song for me then it's radio or maybe silence would fit best as we laugh love in the face teeth against dingy curtains and we're on the first floor your car parked outside how's your sister doing more days like this landmarks and trees bigger sculpture gardens gardens lawn ornaments framed fish on walls in bars next to heads and bodies of animals above pool tables pumpkins in yards next to bags of leaves next to corn stalks next to bags of leaves. And fucking apple cider tucked inside mittens touching the outside of old sweathshirts. I'm stressed about school then but not really more just lost more or less then it feels good to be here and my dream about living away from it all.

And now it's a eighteen months later or so and I haven't seen you many months or talked with you in almost as many and thought of sending you a letter saying "You Were Always on My Mind" partially because I'm moving soon across the country and will be driving and so many other parts.

So I write "You were always on my mind" or maybe capitalize them and sign it and sit back trying to decide if less can be more or if I should include a picture and tell you all of this.

Where the pics at?!?!

2007-06-28T17:08:00.001-06:00

they.re coming!!!
sorry for the delay guys...

Winks and Handshakes + "City"

2007-06-27T12:52:00.000-06:00

I told Phill he's winks cause that's eyes blinking like shutters like cameras and also having fun and getting it and I'm handshakes because that's got something to do with sympathy and reaching out and understanding and touch like me to you you to me.

City

And bounces and cities but what a vague word to invoke to call upon almost a gimme a free pass to memories and alleys glass sewer smells cafes hoards people clad in black and humming and hair light artificial light bounced off rain slicked streets into passing eyes and dandies and fancies what a cheap way to appear to be saying something and saying very little actually but maybe that's ok if a poem is seen as an avenue of access to his or her or yours or mine our notions aspirations understandings so then maybe it's ok to say city and call city a poem and leave it.

Oh yeah... I got hit by a car on Monday. I'm ok, aside from a sore leg and some scratches and bruises.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

2007-06-24T22:49:00.000-06:00

Sunday, June 24th

Calming
and coming off of
days flying weeks off
and deadlines
who's telling me to keep on posting
keep it up
and so you want to be a writer
not really a matter of want
hmm...

just sort of something that is
a part of this time

and that's not meant to be profound.

It's nice sometimes
to spend days alone
to self sustain
or try to

and to cook
for some friends
and not demand too much
to not overly identify
with some things and fumbles
or whatever
along the way
those crippling things
like what I wrote
about an alcoholic summer
that won't let me go

it's too much of me
at certain moments
and is crippling
but how do we
not become our decisions
what then
do we carry
and how to pick and choose
how to make do with
not even regrets
but changes of
(I'm not going to say heart).

Yesterday
the cool summer evening
took me to ones
that felt the same
in summers past
and I'd be lying
if I said summer didn't try to kiss me

the jacket weather
is fireworks
and long car drives and cries
and some really sad things
seeing love leave
and asthma attacks
waking up sitting
disabled in bed
old jobs cats
walks movies with
edamame appetizers
I'll always cherish always
yet this stuff came up
with a quickness

and I was trying to wait tables
trying shortly after
to sweep glass
and close tabs

while the wind and the water
on the tables
the people coming in
and out and a few shots of whiskey
were just like fishing in lily pads

trying to but finding
it difficult to reel in like that

reeling in like that.

http://www.madbikepolo.org/

2007-06-20T13:30:00.001-06:00

madison bike polo.

leif broke his chain.

Dug and Flipped About

2007-06-16T16:58:00.001-06:00

i took this one, lina, so i'm claiming photo credits. bbq/beer/bike locks/cigs [madison]

*

finally got a chance to put these ones upright and add some captions. the first few are from l.a. and the others are s.f.

george conducting a transaction. [l.a.]

skid spots.

close-up of previously posted orange20 mural.

buffmonster show at the corey helford gallery, culver city.

pink on pink.

post-indian food hugs. l-r lindsay, tattiya, george, nick. [s.f.]

post-mash premier race shot. can remember this guy's name but he was nice.

another in front of victoria theater.

taken around 10pm near the end of the second showing.

after-spot #2 (after #1, noodles).

george.

Promiscuous

2007-06-14T17:08:00.001-06:00

Promiscuous

I.
Was pleased with a conversation last night
a talk about the place
of poetry the role
of the writer context promiscuous
identification is a term I told
you about and we discussed that
disclaimer I gave you prior to
reading some of my pieces not
too long ago and was mildly obsessed
with this new thing happening
suddenly now I’m showing more
immediately the little
things and I’m sort of concerned
with what that will do a new
thought of myself as this gathering tool
bringing in a new angle moments
of reflection and so on
and you said something
about the objectivity of a work once
it’s been produced how it’s there
and done and
my responsibility as writer is partially
removed suspended but who really
knows about that and maybe why
we really choose to believe some
things is just to help us get along
getting along not quite fine but
along nevertheless I’m on we
like what we need to still
repetitious been swallowing me
a bit.

II.
I’m trying to tell you it’s
ok because I don’t know what else
there is. I don’t have
much of a grasp here
so I’d tell you to take
it back a bit take it down
but don’t think I could lead
by example we like what we need
to like what we need to
to remind you to look
out for the beneaths
understand the momentum
keep eyes partially on
the watch for those looks
at yourself in mirrors
in clean windows
while strolling
instances where you start
start to feel apart
if those looks of your own
bear you down
then you’ll know
and I know that too
so I’ll be there to
look hug to you.

Small Things

2007-06-12T19:48:00.001-06:00

top: mash sticker from the premier.
2nd: ticket.
3rd left: premier race spoke card.
3rd right: cadence sticker from one of the race stops that owner dustin klein was manning.
4th: a journal scan from some stuff i scribbled on monday.

[i've also added captions to the l.a. and s.f. photos i uploaded earlier this week.]

I.m Not Dead.....yet

2007-06-12T02:23:00.002-06:00

0 miles: the essentials [although more than 2 pairs of
underwear would have made it complete]

5 miles: "HUZZAH!"
scooping up mr. backonja

207 miles: officer benjamin c. lee [takes no shit]

1219 miles: austin, tx
jameson west [aspiring film-maker and gracious host]
*nevermind the hair*

thursday night. whiskey. 16mm projector. 60s porn in dining room.
[mr. backonja was enjoying the view from the bathroom floor]

sad to leave austin [actually jameson]
@ Kerby Lane Cafe on Guadalupe

1785 miles: el paso, tx
Nick Nolte and Steven Segal
[never rains in El Paso...or Juarez....]

2113 miles: some rest stop near tucson, az
Vuki takes a stab at driving

2487 miles: just outside of the hoover dam
the thought of running water inspires Vuki
[he.s peeing]

hassie at the dam

2520 miles: las vegas, nv
a pile............of junk

2805 miles: bakersfield, ca
...

3091 miles: sf, ca
benjamin excited to bunk up

more to come...

MASH World Premier

2007-06-10T12:21:00.001-06:00

scene from beneath the golden gate bridge in sf. this is where everyone met for the race to the mash world premier. somewhere in here you might see andy, one of the mash riders.. he was the one organizing/dishing out spokecards. i hate referring people for pics, but i've posted larger versions of these at on flickr.

post-race gathering in front of victoria theater in sf as we wait for the valet bike parking to commence.

valeted bikes. lots of kids, lots of bikes. the line to get in (for those who didn't ride the race/hence receive a free ticket or otherwise get the will-call hook-up) wraps around the corner of the theater for quite a distance.

the opening shot. massan barreling down an sf hill. fast.

....more to come!!

L.A.

2007-06-10T12:03:00.001-06:00

bomber pro with hed3 650 front and hed disc rear. george, never cease to awe me. tattiya's new khs. black plastic bags for beer.

venice beach. paint cans. this is where we drank the beer.

venice beach.

george and i made it out to the natural history museum because it was free.

west hollywood, l.a. purple's the new gold. i had just gotten yet another espresso fix.

a mural that was just being finished at orange 20, just off melrose in l.a. i encountered a flat tire a few miles away and marched my ass all the way here to find them closed. luckily, owner jim was present and working on some repairs, etc. so sold me some tubes and let me use the facilities.

more to come later!!!

Blemish

2007-06-07T11:43:00.000-06:00

Fucking fucking suicide. I wrote one about my cousin Keith committing himself to death not so long ago and today I received another voicemail, also from my dad, telling me another person I know took himself. Kid was 16 years old. Erik Michael Thompson, what the fuck are you doing killing yourself before you even know what life is about?

City Lights

2007-06-06T13:50:00.000-06:00

I'm in L.A. taking my time taking time away writing/chilling/eating/biking(yes, biking)/having fun.

**From Walt Whitman's "Poets to Come"

"Poets to come...

I am a man who, sauntering along without fully stopping,
turns a casual look upon you and then averts his face,
Leaving it to you to prove and define it,
Expecting the main things from you."

**Journal excerpts:

The trash bin of our lives one piece nudges against another, behind beneath blinds twisted lit firecrackers July rain nudging in the dim seclusion grounded by the floor grounded by exchanged fingernails--good trade--cut that shit off and walk more lightly safe inside... This succession so pressed for time... Bruises feel the berry on my hip laughing pavement and I felt it a little too closely rubbing in and absorbing always more than I was meant to... Need a reference point for this? Fuck you... Vanity... Cheers to the whatifs and we'll or you'll neverknows that strips me em down and holds me there dangling again yeah dangling and suspended never get reused to that feeling cause that's the main part of the shake vs. exquisite rendezvous of the bare riverfront--ha just jumping... I'm of the firm belief that all would be extremely chill if we'd pull off the road and share our points I'm not going to go so far as to say you'd laugh, but maybe would turn your attention more to the direction of the weather.

**Went to a poetry slam last night and wanted to but didn't read this poem:

"City Lights"

There we were, pastless and proofless just taking it easily.
Confidence doesn't tie us
though. It's forgetting
our pasts and shaking
hands.

So that when I was brushed
up on late one
night, city lights,
because of something
I said, because
unfortunately, I
reacted,
my industrialized glance
was met with hushes
and a blur
and I was too busy
checking my breath
to check for stab
wounds.

By the time
I get to the end
of the street
I'm so damn full
of holes
and impressions
that I need a smoke
break.
And there it goes
leaking
out of me,
thanks to you,
because I'm so full
of holes.

Welcome Back/Coming Together

2007-05-30T16:05:00.000-06:00

chilling at context with phill

[scanned polaroid shot]

Journal

2007-05-29T15:30:00.000-06:00

For Days of Dawn Sleep

2007-05-29T15:21:00.001-06:00

Still thinking still revising still having fun with this one so I'll burden you with another draft.

“For Days of Dawn Sleep”

And the birds are my friends.
Perhaps deserving something
of an ode, or something less.

Morning cappuccino coupling
up to another late night, and your
photo-snapping warming
me up more than the small croissant. Thanks

thanks for keeping my progression
progression going because you know
part of me clings
to my fiveyearsfromnow me to
hold me still in the present
to make—excuse me—tarnishing blemishing glances
my skin tickling itself binging on conversations
and something in the back of my head feeling
the need to purge every morning of you
know what luscious pains au chocolat
too much caffeine shaking me
just a little too much. Thanks

thanks for making now a bit
more secure by helping to allow
it to shrink against a future.

A Sincere, Low Bow [Draft]

2007-05-29T15:02:00.000-06:00

5/31 addition to original post:

This image displays part of my writing/revision process. I start with some ideas written usually in my journal or that have been lingering in my head and then plop/type them onto the page, developing line breaks, etc... Then I go back with a pen to revise and that's part of what you see here. I'm clarifying because Ed asked if this was a poem I had work-shopped and torn apart. So no, not exactly... This is my own tearing.

Journal

2007-05-26T17:02:00.001-06:00

[outside]

[inside]

Four Days of Dawn Sleep

2007-05-25T11:53:00.000-06:00

because i've been staying awake until four and five in the morning "and we like what we need to" is what i was writing last night when we sat in the kitchen drinking tea and i was drawn to this poem i wrote about my cousin's suicide. he made sense or came to terms with some sort of immediate conditions and made a move. i call that one “A Deck of Cards” and the last stanza goes like this

"And the kitchen clock moving
and watching nonetheless
while he made sense
with what he needed to.

Then he shut himself off."

but now i'm thinking about this "Four Days of Dawn Sleep" and drafting something else together:

And the birds are my friends.
Perhaps deserving something of an ode.
or something less.

Morning cappuccino coupling up
to another late night.
And your photo-snapping warming
me up more than the small croissant.

Thanks for that. For keeping my progression
progression going because, you know, part
of me clings to my fiveyearsfromnow me to hold me still in the present to make these late nights cigarettes mistakes luscious
ones luscious mornings pained au chocolat
with too much caffeine shaking me just a little too much

helping shrink against this future me
and make the rightnow me more secure.

Lazy Afternoon

2007-05-25T00:50:00.000-06:00

sleeping pattern was on a good run for about two days. but i ended up getting to bed around 700a and waking up at 430p.

this was breakfast
[there were sandwiches to follow shortly]

this was my alarm clock

ran into neil

--------an hour or so later--------
[coffee + cigs]

--------another hour later--------

earl grooms himself

ben joins in on coffee and cigs

i didn.t do shit today. and i enjoyed it.

Bags & Bikes

2007-05-23T18:09:00.000-06:00

high 80s. sunny. windy as hell. gorgeous.

shot on location today at Orton Park and realized that mosquito season is here

straight chillin

ryan [context]
the boss

brainstorming for the shoot

chrome bags @ the swings
check www.contextclothing.com soon for online availability

hot days + one cup of coffee on an empty stomach = insulin break

when not writing poetry or modeling denim, jared the seamstress.

ben & umechan

ben and his new bareknuckle

the other boss [sam]

where i usually end a beautiful day of shooting outside

Another 48 Hours...

2007-05-20T01:05:00.000-06:00

Nas had once said, "Sleep is the cause of the death..."
apparently i follow this dictum because i have been up for about two days straight....

last night I tossed around in bed with Anna Karenina until 530a, then this...

denim geek h.q. [context]

ZR Cycles bike on the Capitol Square

i.ve seen this man around town for the past 4 years. and he.s always just chillin. reppin the New Balance kicks... [@ Sunroom Cafe]

demitasse. smug. espresso.

pretty boy. camel lights.

it seems that bikes seem to be the new, ultimate accessory for this coming spring/summer.
you got the indie//hipster//____ kids rockin fixed gear bikes and selvage denim...
girlies scootin around town with classic cruisers...
[pics to supplement soon]

but also with the recent popularity of bikes, rarities like this pop up for sale:
[currently housed @ Yellow Jersey]

----------------------------------------------------------------

this is Andy Muzi. owner of Yellow Jersey since 1971.

tim[yj] with a current project

mimi [yj]

Neil [SCRAM Couriers]

Drinks and Graduation

2007-05-18T18:55:00.001-06:00

Friday. 60s. Graduation season.

Slept @ 1000a
Awoke@ 230p

@400p @ Genna.s [happy hour]