the bbq today

	is being pushed back to after 6ish because i miscalculated my time to do stuff. bringing food is a big thumbs up. so is bringing beer (though not as big cause beer is easier to come by). don't bring anyone i don't know. this is not a dance party. perhaps we'll venture down to the caribou later?? i'm excited to see everyone. love, jared

Communication and Sketching Ideas

Phill and I decided early on that this space would be where we could explore things that we're working on and stay motivated with our projects. For Phill--correct me if I'm wrong--this consists of bringing people together in this sort of online community and also in bringing shots from his life and his eyes to all the rest of us. My wording sounds a little bloated with significance, but you get the idea. For me this is a place where I can throw out poems I'm working on to both keep myself writing consistently and also to see and hear what others might think about them. Thanks to those of you who have discussed anything you've seen on the blog with me. That's cool. Now, I encourage you to comment and also to let me know which of the poems or ideas you think don't work or think need some re-working. Hearing that things look nice is a nice thing, but isn't necessarily always the most productive. It's funny... so many people have said they read or saw something on winksandhandshakes and had an interesting thought of some sort about it. Great! We want to hear that shit.

Right... and I'm also moving to Los Angeles so then you want have the opportunity of telling me in person that you thought Jessica's comment on "Writing John a Letter" was super duper wack. Thanks for that though.

Ok. Love you all. Oh, and BBQ on Saturday at mine and Earl and Ben's place at around 5PM. I'm bouncing on Sunday.

And Phill- In case I forget to mention it, can you change the settings so that when a viewer clicks on a link it will open in a new tab or window? And can you add madbikepolo.org to the things we like? Oh, and the pics look great.

moving season is here

it seems that this time of the year, everyone is busy with their own shit.

packing.

moving [some even far far away].

drinking.

working.


i sometimes wonder what other people.s lives are like
during the day...or even throughout the week around
this time. i know that around this time we all have to
get our shit together and we all have our own ways of
dealing with it all. these days, i.ve been a bit unmotivated
and it must be because after i get my tasks/work/etc

done, i.d rather just sit around and do NOTHING.

but this is what happens when i get home and do NOTHING.

the "living" room


but sometimes while basting in my own mess, i [almost] finish
other things like pics from the road trip.

click here

i have a few hundred up right now and i should have more
up soon. sorry for the delay to all who have been waiting.

Trigger Trigger

Trigger Trigger



So let’s get beyond all that
like City started to say how words
can be loaded and gimmes well
then
kaleidoscope
and what
happens.

Let’s throw it out
let’s rejoice
and throw it out
and take away the tags
lines keywords beyond
parks benches lighters
lighting cigarettes the
descriptions of those sounds
walls of clearances and hums
and take a trip to the Middle Ages.

Throw out the howls
waitings cause I’ll be
damned if I’m waiting
I am taking I am coming
and I’m having fun.

So let’s throw out the muddle
and remind ourselves
what really
hips our elbows
what really shakes rattles and rolls.

I realized I never posted this...

"winks and handshakes" came from...

"...but this is a vehicle to overcome like utensils and mugs and burning leaves and part of my equipment and mask and not enough time never enough, and too many doubts and too much talking and of course not enough material and I need to have more experience and I need to see things but at my own pace and for the right reasons and a general balance and I could generally say more but, genuinely, I will not, and winks and handshakes."

phill said he was thinking about starting a blog and asked me for name advice and i said a few other things before thinking of the last line above, which i'd written a few days earlier.

-jared

Found Treasure

this past december and january, i spent about a month in LA. for New Years Eve, my cousin Sunny and i went to SF. i brought my Hasselblad and shot some rolls and sometime between then and now i misplaced my rolls of shot film. recently while cleaning my place, i found some random rolls and i got them developed. one of the found rolls happened to be from this trip. here is a taste. in the mean time, i.m still looking for other rolls that i shot while in SF. BTW: the road trip pics will be up soon enough!!!

for those interested, shot with:
Hasselblad 500C/M
Carl Zeiss 50mm f4 T*
Fuji Astia 100F positive film
Scanned on a shitty Epson 4990 without a plate

Better Than Dancing

An afternoon can be an argument for a city.

A night at work can be another late night.

A dance with friends can be magic and a dance with strangers can be confiding and can be the widest of smiles and sharing sweat and can also be forgetting.

Taking a step back can be knowing how it feels to be missed and can also be lonely and can be taking a step in the wrong direction and also taking a step back can be taking a step back.

Spending $200 can be accidents and can be hellish and can also be good causes can be coffee food sharing and can be a weekend away.

Reading can be realizing what you don't know and can also be boring and being bored can be the result of hearing your mind tell itself the same things just to hear them another time to make them more real and that can be dangerous because enough of that makes a fact, or can, and can prime you to think one-directionally.

Writing can be connecting and scouring and being apart and some of us grew up hearing we could be anything and some hear that we still can.

Spoke Cards

I thought of this one today... wrote it a few months ago.


“Spoke Cards”




I can't remember the score,
but I was at a baseball game

in Milwaukee the day my grandpa died.
He was born and died, appropriately,

in August.

Two days after he’d passed,
I was walking amongst our horses
and heard the news. We lived in the country.

Now, I would say the landscape
was a scornful, imposing symbol
of happiness and thriving life
mocking my loss.

Then, I just knew that it felt too green
and too happy outside
and that I considered riding
one of our horses off, away.

Instead, dumbfounded, I walked to our garage, a hive of busied intentions and naïve confusion, and kicked some rusty bikes into the gravel floor.

If I were a cartoon, probably lots of dust and grainy pixels and a "poof" caption would complement my dirty fingernails.

Mailing John a Letter

Tell him he was always on my mind.

Because he always loved Willie Nelson. And so do I.

So on the highway more light and more windows down and I'm remembering a dream where my hair was long and I want to mail John a letter saying "You were always on my mind" and more because even though we never took that road trip after Portland fell through even though we didn't find Wisconsin in the fall it's always there for me I go there sometimes when I miss you and imagine us in the car your red car and windows down and the fall smells to blend this memory so clear with what I wish would have happened into what we actually remember because it's so there so there right so and cold November movements and trucks with dead deer because it's the season and I'm telling you about Wisconsin fall sentiments and sentiments on a fall tattoo how funny how brown shades how earthy and how funny that might be and we're laughing of course and stop into a cheese store because that's really how Wisconsin is you know lots of cheese so we make a stop and it's so fresh and then cigarettes in the best of ways because that's a nice thing to share then dusk sunsets the leaves the colors the reds oranges and it's so much then a cheap hotel trashy in the best of ways because it's just the two of us and it's just what we'd imagined just what we fell in love with and in order to keep that going we drink High Life the champagne with the girl with the red dress and something about a moon and cheers to nights spent Thursdays before hot summer Fridays cheers to those cheers to Josh cheers we need some music and I'm still working this part out how it would be but if you don't have your guitar to play a Merle Haggard song for me then it's radio or maybe silence would fit best as we laugh love in the face teeth against dingy curtains and we're on the first floor your car parked outside how's your sister doing more days like this landmarks and trees bigger sculpture gardens gardens lawn ornaments framed fish on walls in bars next to heads and bodies of animals above pool tables pumpkins in yards next to bags of leaves next to corn stalks next to bags of leaves. And fucking apple cider tucked inside mittens touching the outside of old sweathshirts. I'm stressed about school then but not really more just lost more or less then it feels good to be here and my dream about living away from it all.

And now it's a eighteen months later or so and I haven't seen you many months or talked with you in almost as many and thought of sending you a letter saying "You Were Always on My Mind" partially because I'm moving soon across the country and will be driving and so many other parts.

So I write "You were always on my mind" or maybe capitalize them and sign it and sit back trying to decide if less can be more or if I should include a picture and tell you all of this.