Mailing John a Letter

Tell him he was always on my mind.

Because he always loved Willie Nelson. And so do I.

So on the highway more light and more windows down and I'm remembering a dream where my hair was long and I want to mail John a letter saying "You were always on my mind" and more because even though we never took that road trip after Portland fell through even though we didn't find Wisconsin in the fall it's always there for me I go there sometimes when I miss you and imagine us in the car your red car and windows down and the fall smells to blend this memory so clear with what I wish would have happened into what we actually remember because it's so there so there right so and cold November movements and trucks with dead deer because it's the season and I'm telling you about Wisconsin fall sentiments and sentiments on a fall tattoo how funny how brown shades how earthy and how funny that might be and we're laughing of course and stop into a cheese store because that's really how Wisconsin is you know lots of cheese so we make a stop and it's so fresh and then cigarettes in the best of ways because that's a nice thing to share then dusk sunsets the leaves the colors the reds oranges and it's so much then a cheap hotel trashy in the best of ways because it's just the two of us and it's just what we'd imagined just what we fell in love with and in order to keep that going we drink High Life the champagne with the girl with the red dress and something about a moon and cheers to nights spent Thursdays before hot summer Fridays cheers to those cheers to Josh cheers we need some music and I'm still working this part out how it would be but if you don't have your guitar to play a Merle Haggard song for me then it's radio or maybe silence would fit best as we laugh love in the face teeth against dingy curtains and we're on the first floor your car parked outside how's your sister doing more days like this landmarks and trees bigger sculpture gardens gardens lawn ornaments framed fish on walls in bars next to heads and bodies of animals above pool tables pumpkins in yards next to bags of leaves next to corn stalks next to bags of leaves. And fucking apple cider tucked inside mittens touching the outside of old sweathshirts. I'm stressed about school then but not really more just lost more or less then it feels good to be here and my dream about living away from it all.

And now it's a eighteen months later or so and I haven't seen you many months or talked with you in almost as many and thought of sending you a letter saying "You Were Always on My Mind" partially because I'm moving soon across the country and will be driving and so many other parts.

So I write "You were always on my mind" or maybe capitalize them and sign it and sit back trying to decide if less can be more or if I should include a picture and tell you all of this.