sending another friend off...

like i have mentioned in a previous post, "been busy y'all".
transitions, changes, readjustments, future.

shit is getting real for everyone it seems,
even outside of the world of winks and handshakes.
i.ve recently been blessed with having more work after the longest drought.
many hobbies-turned-potentials rising above the surface...prospering.
demanding my time, energy, sacrifice....spreading myself thin....and stressing myself thin [literally].
all the while not having a chance to focus on the reason why i fell in love with the things that i do...because it.s moving at a blurring pace.
out of guilt i reach into the bag of obligation and hope to pick out inspiration and motivation.

like earl mentioned below, people i love are gone. but i am PROUD.
recently i helped my friend Ben move to Seattle to jump-start his clean slate.
we drove from Madison to Seattle in a day and a half.
along the way i brought one of my beloved cameras and was afforded the chance to rediscover the reason why i love the sound of the shutter.

i hope you will enjoy my exploration of textures, colors, and space:

all of you

in not letting the hard times destroy your life, you must always look at what you have. this summer has been the most difficult time in my life; some of the deepest of all friends left, moving into and renovating my new home, working my ass off to make ends meet, getting slaughtered by a truck, lost friendships/hard forgivenesses, and actually falling in love. the weak would make rash decisions and falter. the stronger ones mend and build. i am tired of having to constantly reassemble myself.

end all be all, i am still here. there are airplanes and phones to reach those that crave friendships. i still have my two legs to carry me where i need to go. i have a mind and hands that create and a heart that will always love. this is for all of you that understand me and take actions to be there and you know that with all that i have, i'll do the same. thank you for being you.

i'm going to spend the rest of my weekend redoing my portfolio and resume. all the while knowing how lucky i really am.

Been Busy Y'all.

So recently many things have come up in my life which has made it hectic and exciting. I.ll deliver the goods on here in a bit....but until then watch Thomas Edison do his thing.

winks and handshakes as coordination devices...

search "winks handshakes" in google and what comes up?

"smiles, winks, and handshakes as coordination devices," [sociological/psychologicalesque article headings] amongst other things... unintentional, i must say, but fitting.

share your associative wonders with us and describe your reaction or response to the words, "winks and handshakes."

love,

An Ambiguous Embrace

EDIT: TITLE... feeling pretty spacey today. someone tell me i'm not crazy.

An Ambiguous Embrace (a draft, as most others posted are... Phill- I wrote the first part awhile ago).




Spent today keeping in touch because,
like so many other things,
that’s an exercise in understanding difference
and self
and crucial just like “What does it mean to be fastinated with chandeliers?”
or “How do I travel?”
is “How do I treat the past?”
so it’s an exercise.

We spent the night throwing
peanut M&Ms and tearing apart our admirations.

Another night today
and it’s kind of nice (this sounds like something else
I wrote, but I guess I have to get more used to that)
to not be expected too much to just quietly ride and go
to a movie
and to imagine the stories
in the heads
of some of the Angelenos sitting
sipping coffee and their heads jittering around
They can’t sit still, these writers.
Let me tell you. Their eyes! They wander… Poor enterprisers.

This, and a few rushed days…

Where did I leave off? And how do we judge a bit of progress…

To do: write a list of things to do.
and then go to the bank and take a nap and then rid the world of awkwardness and stop looking for new music (constancy!) and be comfortable with what you have and think about walking on the beach
and think about the world of professional writers
and stop looking around and stop feeling disconnected and start writing about sex like everyone else to show you don’t shy and start packing a lunch and sew those jeans at the cuff and stop (?) asking what it means.

A day in shifts: morning and evening darknesses (I should only be awake for one of those).

And now it’s school-time again, think of:
fall/”how was your summer?”s/Labor Day county fairs/responses indicating character shifts/a matter of time and
an indication that it’s time for some things to end in order for others to begin.

http://www.labikepolo.org/

http://www.labikepolo.org/ is up and still coming. also, myspace.com/bikepolola.

today (actually, yesterday now) i

consumed a french press of coffee, a machiatto, and an espresso (along with some non-coffee items).

spent some time at choke (http://www.chokemotorcycleshop.com/), where i had the machiatto (^) and took in the scenery. cool spot.

took my trusty 101z wax lee jeans to have the zipper replaced. boo.

bought some cheap shoes from the surplus store on w. sunset at hyperion.

read some umberto eco.

watched collateral.
///////\\\\\\\\
now that i'm writing this a day later it doesn't seem as interesting as it was yesterday when i thought to post about my day. i think the initial idea was to mention choke and to think about how i spend a day off from work..

intelli.la and the building and silver lake

[[borrowed from tonx.org]]
some pics of where i work not taken by me.

i also discovered a very random connection today. many months ago my [then] roommate ben, a floor manager [then] for urban outfitters in madison, wi, brought home a lovely book [

]

which i spent some lengthy time perusing and marvelling over. at this time in my life i'd been kind of daydreaming about the possibilities of the year-to-come and l.a. had fallen amongst the other prospects. my friends at drunken butterfly, west coast natives, advised me that if i were going to move to l.a. that silver lake was the place for me.. so then this book came about and i was pretty awed, but felt pretty distant at the same time [sort of like how i feel when i read the magazine DWELL.. you know, amazing houses, but no conception whatsoever of actually living in one of them]. so then upon beginning to work at intelligentsia in silver lake, i was asked several times by customers about who designed the space and was informed by the baristas and other workers that the architect's name is, "barbara bestor," so that's what i started telling customers.

then just now i was reading owner doug zell's blog and found bestor's website and saw that she wrote the book i had become interested in so many months ago. oh connections..

fame

saw these guys [from FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS on hbo] yesterday at intelligentsia:


the one on the left also just did a movie called EAGLE VS. SHARK [http://www.eaglevsshark.net/]. can someone give me their real names?

this one's pretty funny too:


anyhow.. it's funny because i've been thinking a bit about how some people i see from day to day spend their time and/or make a living and how it can feel to know that ''''famous'''' people live and work around me.

Labor Day Bike Polo Tourney in Los Angeles

[me trying to dribble in the air]

The rest of Sean's pics

and Steve?s pics.

EDIT 9/11: and another photo set from the bikerowave tourney.

Matt's team took first and lots of people came out. At the end they played AMERICAN FLYERS but I was zonked out so I went home (plus Tattiya was rafting in Bakersfield and some kids broke into their car and jacked a bunch of their shit so I was freaking out about that).

Los Angeles bike polo is gaining momentum.

business casual and white walls

i started teaching again yesterday. it's pretty unnerving when you become responsible for what people need to learn. worse enough when impressions count and one must make themself trustworthy of their position. however, it's pretty damn cool being able to shape people's lives.

i did these renderings two years ago and miss the process, and most importantly, the product of design. the things that we allow to encompass our lives affect greatly those around us and mostly give validation to our actions in the future. i'm going to start looking for a design job for the mere sake that i want to create bigger things and as cliche as it may be, at least make a better life for others.

got lots of fine tuning and work to do, so if i don't see anyone, it's because i'm balls deep into my portfolio. plus i need to fulfill my insatiable need for beer, coffee, and cigarettes.

August

Faces and spaces
what does it mean to be settled
anyway?
and a buck’s exploding on my arm
in my head
anyway.
I still don’t believe in fate
(besides, ashtrays don’t do much good with this wind)
anyway.

Forty hours a week yeah sure why not
take that to go yeah sure why not
ride across L.A. yeah sure
meet up when you’re in town why not
keeping it concealed yeah
stay here for a bit sure
wishing things were different why
hold my hand yes please do
not.

Some people speak with their hands
and some sit and watch.

Where do we what do we get here how did
that happen?

And “so this is just something temporary?” (you have no idea)
so then where’s rent coming from (no idea) what
do you think when you hear _________
and what makes a day
a bad one?
(what day of the week is it?)
everything has to wait, right? (right)
All my things
are missing but three days ago
I was in a movie.

And then, the writer reading.
“Why don’t we each read a few pages and then
reconvene?”
“Sounds good.”

How are you really? You seem to repeat yourself more
now. Really I’m fine
really, thanks. Yeah, sorry though that was just a lull you caught me in last night.

I was about to write down that it’s funny how I don’t feel the need to have my phone near me when you are (then a slew across my face of days marked forever).

Why is it important that I spent Sunday near the ocean and how do I keep this going now that I’ve come clean?

Didn’t sleep much last night and I’m seeing spots
ocassionally my right
finger is numb (is that symbollic?)
I guess I’ll just keep picking
up because I’m forever
leaving off stepped
into the cheese store today (and later saw two old men playing chess)
and I wanted to taste everything.

Here everyone can pretend to be beautiful. Cue it up.
An evening can be telling
the truth
and that can bend the imagination
in ways it wasn’t ready or willing
and that can lead to wakeful nights
watching eclipses against yard lamps
through eyes looking for something bigger
to believe in—searching for relativity—and then
nextdays that are really full of shit
and Tuesdays that don’t deserve a name.

I put my book down because there’s too much to
say today to have time
or energy for that… An outdoor scene and a bus murmurs to downtown and Mexican horns light the heat another three degrees in the right direction. Look at the kids.

I like to be alone (always on my mind) but I’m tired now and too busy talking to myself to write poems
too busy asking rhetorical
questions
to write
poems
a harmonica unused at home bridled by
the real hours of the day and new! Coming soon! Future
attractions include:
“Jared goes home and rekindles a relationship with his family”
followed by
“A poet who drinks”
and
“A visit to the wilderness, a simple camping trip with a love” in which our hero comes to terms with his sentimental stacks and buys a new pair of sunglasses
and
“He finally gets settled, starts publishing consistently” and makes enough money to travel: a cool one that explores movements and also with hints about what it can mean to be
smoothing out, with hints of a child named August in the previews for upcoming features.

9.1.07

[wrote this this morning but wasn't able to post it til now..]

let the lapd be. yeah.. last night tattiya and i were a block from home on our bikes
when we passed a cop car at a light who was turning without a signal
and for some reason i felt it necessary to say, "blinker," after which
the car turned around and pulled us over in front of our house. they
were serious. very serious. but i got off scott-free and was left
with a reminder that i shouldn't say shit to a cop about traffic
regulations when i don't have a front light or brakes...

anyhow, that was about six hours ago and now i'm about to go to work
and i'm listening to george strait. "amarillo by morning," anyone?
intelligentsia has been going really well. best coffee i've ever had.

happy almost september.


[and now..]

ran into vuki while tattiya and i were eating at bay city deli in santa monica tonight. so damn random! ugh.. ok, tired now. i've been writing and i'll try to post this weekend.