An Ambiguous Embrace

EDIT: TITLE... feeling pretty spacey today. someone tell me i'm not crazy.

An Ambiguous Embrace (a draft, as most others posted are... Phill- I wrote the first part awhile ago).




Spent today keeping in touch because,
like so many other things,
that’s an exercise in understanding difference
and self
and crucial just like “What does it mean to be fastinated with chandeliers?”
or “How do I travel?”
is “How do I treat the past?”
so it’s an exercise.

We spent the night throwing
peanut M&Ms and tearing apart our admirations.

Another night today
and it’s kind of nice (this sounds like something else
I wrote, but I guess I have to get more used to that)
to not be expected too much to just quietly ride and go
to a movie
and to imagine the stories
in the heads
of some of the Angelenos sitting
sipping coffee and their heads jittering around
They can’t sit still, these writers.
Let me tell you. Their eyes! They wander… Poor enterprisers.

This, and a few rushed days…

Where did I leave off? And how do we judge a bit of progress…

To do: write a list of things to do.
and then go to the bank and take a nap and then rid the world of awkwardness and stop looking for new music (constancy!) and be comfortable with what you have and think about walking on the beach
and think about the world of professional writers
and stop looking around and stop feeling disconnected and start writing about sex like everyone else to show you don’t shy and start packing a lunch and sew those jeans at the cuff and stop (?) asking what it means.

A day in shifts: morning and evening darknesses (I should only be awake for one of those).

And now it’s school-time again, think of:
fall/”how was your summer?”s/Labor Day county fairs/responses indicating character shifts/a matter of time and
an indication that it’s time for some things to end in order for others to begin.